The entirely non-fictional Julie Koh pointed me a couple of weeks ago to the Good Men Project, a ‘community of 21st Century thought leaders [discussing] the issue of men’s roles in modern life’. In an email to Julie today, I was struggling to explain what it was about the site which I didn’t like.1

What does this have to do with ‘Nice Guys’ of OK Cupid? I suppose only that reading the Tumblr (which, I will be the first to admit, I did purely for schadenfreude) made me cognisant of just how necessary things like the Good Men Project are. There are a frightening number of men out there that don’t understand how to create non-platonic relationships with women, live in a fantasy land where they are the ideal man and then direct their frustration and bewilderment at being alone back at women in general.

The Good Men Project feels a little too self-helpy for me (which is the reason I think I don’t like it) but I can see how something like this is terribly necessary for a great many guys out there.


  1. In addition to their use of the term ‘thought leaders’.